Young Girl on Train: “So, how do you like San Francisco so far?”

Eliott: “Eh, It’s a little gay, but it’s okay.”

Eric’s roommate, Andrew: “DUDE. You cannot go around saying that here.”

I didn’t go into San Francisco with any expectations, but I had always hear that it was a great place to live and visit. I was a little disappointed.

I was staying with my buddy Eric in Palo Alto. This meant that each day I wanted to go into the city, I would have to make a thirty mile trek north. The traffic getting there was never bad, but driving within the city was terrible. Pedestrians were everywhere, drivers were beyond dumb, and the streetcars held up traffic both uphill and downhill. Parking was damn near impossible to find, unless you wanted to pay your price in food for the day for it. In Chinatown, parking was so rare that I had to park in front of Larry Flint’s Hustler Club. Now that’s bad.

I must also note that San Francisco has more iPad ads per square mile than any other place in the world. This definitely contributes to the city’s self-absorbed image. Although I went in with an open mind, I found that the people did play up to the role depicted in South Park, loving the smell of their own farts at every opportunity. The few people I met who were not tourists, but actually from the city, were snobbish schmucks. The weather was unexpectedly terrible; the closer to the city I got, the foggier and colder it became. Nights were in the high fifties, a very uncharacteristic trait for summer in central California.

It wasn’t all bad, though. The city is actually very un-American in style, which was a nice change. AT&T Park, where the Giants play, is very nice, but like the rest of the city, batshit expensive. Golden Gate Park is a very nice area to get lost in and play an ocarina in the middle of the woods. And the botanical gardens were wicked sweet. Oh, and Ghirardelli Chocolate…mmm….

I don’t have much else to say about San Francisco. It simply wasn’t for me. There are many other areas, like Mountain View and San Jose, but Google owns them all.

Here are some assorted pictures from my stay

Katomon

The Good Guys in Oakland

Supporting Kenny Powers' MVP campaign

I ran into my childhood idols along the way.

Crazyass flowers in Golden Gate Park

Obligatory Golden Gate Bridge picture, which took my five years of Spanish classes to acquire.

Google bike!

You could buy a pen with their logo for thirty bucks, and that's about all you can do here.

EVERYBODY was using an iPhone. I wonder if any of them got reception.

The best part of AT&T Park: A Build-A-Bear in-stadium.