When you’re driving around the country by yourself for the summer, you only have a limited number of options to pass your time. They are:

1) Listen to “Atlas Shrugged” and try not to stick a pen in your ear.

2) Make phone calls to people who probably don’t care that you’re alone on a trip.

3) Touch your nuts.

Well, I have discovered a fourth option. Behold: the Kirby stress ball.