You’ve heard of Lollapalooza, Coachella, and Bonnaroo. You may have even been to a concert or two yourself. Good for you!

However, I can guarantee you that you have never experienced anything quite like Riot Fest.

Look at this lineup. Look at it! It’s got something for everybody! YOU CANNOT BE DISAPPOINTED.

“Fuck,” I said upon seeing the lineup. “That’s a shitload of bands.”

So what’s a guy to do? Assemble his crew and get his ass to Chicago, that’s what.

Check out this hardcore group of punk rockers.

A lineup like this takes preparation; you have to know what bands you have to see, and which ones you’re going to cut, depending on overlap in the schedule. Once you and your group know when you’re going to be together and when you’re going to split up, you need to make sure you know your way around from stage to stage. For that, I must thank the festival organizers for putting together this simple map:

Looks simple enough, right? Nice and easy with paths clear as day, with the stages clearly labeled, giving you an understanding of EXACTLY where you need to go. Unfortunately, here’s the reality:

Now imagine three days in a row of this. Once you’ve done that, accept that your clothes are fucked, embrace the mud, and focus on the lineup, we’ve got ourselves some shows to see.

First up? Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears. What a treat. He’s like Hendrix and James Brown put together. And the band? A+.

Friday, for me, was all about the small bands. The Offspring ended up being a huge disappointment (and every time I tell people that, they say, very sarcastically, “The Offspring? No way!”), which I opted to see instead of The Murder City Devils. Stupid decision, I know. Despite that, everything was balanced out by the fantastic Baby Baby from Atlanta. When the lineup was first announced, I put together a playlist of all the artists on Spotify, and after a couple of plays, I put Baby Baby near the top of the “Can’t Miss” list. They’re just such a fun band, which is evident in their music. They clearly embrace the colorful side of rock and punk, and quickly became a favorite party band. With much luck, the schedule was in my favor, and I went to see Baby Baby, front and center.

On Day 2, the fun continued with Californian rockers Wavves, immediately followed by Chicago-bred The Orwells. Wavves played to my expectations, rocking out on a few hits like “Demon To Lean On,” “Green Eyes,” and “King Of The Beach.” The Orwells, on the other hand, completely blew me away. Despite their age (they just graduated from high school in Elmhurst last year), they all seem like they were born to rock. Their frontman was especially energetic, at one point screaming “LET’S TEAR UP THESE VOCAL CHORDS!” Besides making me headbang and jump, even to a quick cover of “Build Me Up Buttercup,” they also made me laugh harder than I ever did at a show. There was a point where the frontman literally rolled off the front of the stage, and in the very next motion, rolled right back on to the stage floor from the muddy ground. It didn’t seem to bother him or anybody else, but from where I was standing, he made me crack up. Later, he jumped in the crowd with his mic and let them finish off their set.

Wavves

Wavves frontman, Nathan Williams

The Orwells

The Orwells frontman, Mario Cuomo

Saturday had a few headliners, including Wu-Tang Clan and The Flaming Lips, but you can probably read all about them elsewhere. One thing to note? Wayne Coyne’s Mushrooms:

Sunday, the third day of Riot Fest, turned out to be the best of all. It was finally time to see what the non-music ride of Riot Fest was about: the carnival rides.

There she blows. The Gravitron, the fabled ride from my childhood dreams. Only one time did I ever ride the Gravitron, and never did I see it again. I thought it was a myth, a mirage, a figment of my imagination. As it turns out, Riot Fest had one! My buddy, Austin, and I gave it a spin. We were not disappointed- we had the whole ride to ourselves and, pinned against the walls, crawled around the sides as much as gravity allowed.

My highlight for the day was seeing Lifetime Achievement in Partying Award Winner Andrew W.K. in the front row. After walking into his show when it was already in progress at the first day of Riot Fest 2013, I was bewildered with their sound and energy. For the next year, I prepared myself to be a part of that roaring crowd to party like I never did before. Armed with my friends and family at my sides, we braved the swarm of crowdsurfers coming in at our heads to party with the best of them.

Andrew W.K.’s crowd going nuts behind us

The rest of the afternoon had a ton of highlights, but nothing stood out to me as much as Showyousuck. My friend, Jake, and I met to see the Chicago-based rapper, whom I had heard beforehand and got a kick out of his humorous lyrics and video game references. When he came out, though, he was more like Odd Future and less like the smooth and catchy beats I had heard in his studio albums. That isn’t to say I had a bad time, though, because it was quite the opposite. Showyousuck was, without a doubt, the happiest person at Riot Fest. He came on stage and cranked out a few hits, then took the time to express his gratitude to the crowd and exclaimed “I can’t believe I’m playing Riot Fest!” He credited past Riot Fest headliners as his influences, like Iggy Pop and Elvis Costello. After, he did something I’ve never seen a rapper do: bust out Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.”

It was hilarious and humble at the same time. Showyousuck wanted the crowd, more than anything, to know that if he could reach his dreams (“DREAMS!!!”), then we could, too. It was a great after school message in a place where you wouldn’t expect it. I wish him the best.

EDIT: Here’s a great video of his set. 

This is the face of humility, joy, and gratitude. This is Showyousuck.

Sunday night was highlighted by Weezer playing the Blue Album, which was amazing, but I have no great media of it because I spent the first half of the show backstage and eventually got kicked out, haha.

I would like to close this post by stating that it doesn’t take much to make someone’s day. I wrote to Baby Baby after Riot Fest was over on their Facebook page, just letting them know how much I enjoyed their performance. We went back and forth for a bit, and they later highlighted the post and thanked me for it.

In the end, Riot Fest is that kind of festival- one where you don’t know who you’ll run into, like Brian Bell of Weezer or Andrew W.K.’s band or a girl you hardly know that you’re faking a proposal to in order to get backstage. A festival where some of the hardest-looking punk rockers you’ll ever see are some of the most kind-hearted. A festival where the bands are as happy to play for you as you are to see them. Finally, it’s a festival where you grab your family and friends at to make new memories to fondly look back on as you await Riot Fest next year.

See you in 2015, Riot Fest.